Is it possible to have a great marriage even though your in-laws are difficult? Yes, it is very likely, just like it's possible to have a beautiful yard also though there are a few weeds. If you are considering divorce because you do not like your in-laws, that's like selling your house just because of a few dandelions in the lawn.
In this blog, we will be taking a look at five ways to have a great marriage in the face of a controlling, manipulative and intrusive in-law.
1. THERE IS POWER IN UNITY
A family, couple or team that is united always come up stronger. With a joint force as a couple, it's much easier to fight or deal with difficult in-laws. Instead of allowing your in-laws try to divide you as a couple, seize every opportunity to behave in a way which strengthens your marriage. Look beyond and refuse to listen to gossip about your spouse and don't complain to your spouse about their parent. Communicate with your spouse and ensure you make yourselves the priority, reach loving compromises and present a united front to relatives.
2. LEAVE THE VICTIM MODE
You can either choose to play the victim by complaining and gossiping, or you can want to do what's in your power to improve your situation. Equip yourself with all you need to deal with in-law problems by reading books, getting counseling, and joining a support group.
3. BEHAVE AS AN ADULT OR ON EQUAL LEVELS WITH YOUR IN-LAWS
How do you react to your in-laws when they make derogatory statements about the way you dress, eat, raise your kids, etc. Like bullies, difficult in-laws will always be looking for buttons to push and if we allow them, appear meek or easy targets when they provoke us then, they will assume control over you. Once you replace whatever feelings of insecurity you have with confidence, you will begin to see that you have as much right to an opinion as your in-laws do. This will cause a change in your behavior, and you must know that if you want to be treated as an adult, you must behave as one.
4. BE ASSERTIVE AND DRAW BOUNDARIES
Rather than holding silent grudges with your in-laws, be honest with them in a respectful yet firm manner. If you notice they are acting in any manner which you have previously warned them about, take specific steps to reprimand them or stop them from having their way. We always have to stand up for ourselves with respect and set clear boundaries from the onset. Referring to the opinion of God is still vital in cases like this.
5. REFUSE TO BE MANIPULATED
If you feel your in-laws are manipulating you, then you must tell them to stop doing so. Many a time, toxic in-laws will react negatively when you call them out and would look to manipulate you until you sacrifice your needs to please them but do not budge. For as long as you are sure you are in your right and your decision agrees with the Word of God, don't change. If you do you will not only be displeasing yourself, you will be spoiling your in-laws and ultimately, displease God.